Musing with Gratitude

Growing up, I was fortunate to instinctively develop discernment-that was necessary for survival. Observing those around me, I saw differences and that what seemed obvious might not be so. Quite left to my own resources, a small group of people welcomed myself and my brother into their homes. The sadness at being neglected was assuaged by learning that soft-loving hearts were not the property of one race or religion. Among the open-doors were the local Syrian families and Armenian's. George the barber cut my hair at not cost until I left the area at eighteen.I will never forget his kindness nor that of his family. What a treat to have delicious meals where I encountered a life-long love of Middle Eastern food. Hospitality and inclusiveness was without pity or self-aggrandizement. Such kindness, built my heart of compassion and not bitterness and to them I bow.

A Path to the Ivies

My path to the Ivy League, began like most with good grades, however, the key was not grades. Registration for classes junior year at the University of California at San Francisco, I met two girls Diane and Debbie. Long time residents of the city, one was of Italian heritage and the other African American. We formed a team took classes and studied together. Soon after the semester began we heard about the Reading Improvement Center led by William P.J. Costello. If myth is right, he was fired from the Boston school system for using comic books to teach reading. We took the requisite training in phonemic awareness, phonics and comprehension in a great workbook that I still have. Costello, had a mantra, " The alphabet has 26 letters and 44 sounds..to learn .. you can do it", We did some research and asked if we could implement the program at an alternative Rooftop School and a Girls detention Center. At first they were hesitant, but agreed.. especially because the girls were locked up. Off we went twice weekly teaching reading-incorporating creative dramatics and lots of TLC. I remember going to a dance with the girls at a boys center, Our volunteering took hours, literally, Friday nights, and continued after we graduated. Fond memories.. when I applied to Columbia with the lowest test scores since I had no math since high school-I found out that the head of the entire education department wrote a recommendation. Here is the key, get out of the box, do something that is impassioned, be a self-started in whatever the discipline. Diane, Debbie and I did not spend hours to get into the Ivies.. we did our job to be better teachers and for love.

Thinking back to when I began counseling college and graduate students

This past weekend, I consulted with a family that asked about my background and how I became a college and graduate school counselor. It had been many years, since I went back to thinking about working in Graduate Admissions at Columbia.I learned how students were selected, and that being rejected did not mean that they were unqualified-just not right for the program. A short time later, opening my learning center, I received a call from Stanley Bosworth, the founder and Head of St. Ann's School in Brooklyn Heights. He asked if I would be willing to hire one of his students as a tutor. Ian was brilliant and stayed on for years. I kept in touch with Stanley through Ian and other students he recommended and was able to observe and learn how special his college prep program was. Ian left us when he graduated from St. Ann's attended MIT and later received a doctorate from University of California at San Diego. Other peer tutors followed, many of whom are friends on Facebook. Other schools sent students in need of a job including Carmine Farina the current Chancellor of Education in New York City whose daughter Marisa worked in as a peer tutor for years.It felt so good to give teens meaningful work. In my own background, my jobs were mostly horrible and exploited my time and talents. Everyone of the peer tutors has become an amazing adult productive adult...and I do what I did way back then to the best of my ability.

Red Lantern

Growing up, hours were spent listening to the radio. One the most memorable Saturday morning radio programs theme still haunts me. A fatherly fish named Red Lantern guided two children (who surely I identified as my brother David and me) deep into the Land of the Lost. Every show opened with the same line: “In that wonderful kingdom at the bottom of the sea” lost objects are stored beneath the waves. In the fathomless deep could be found precious objects waiting to be claimed by their child.

I remember going to sleep with the voice of the Red Lantern, most memorably played by the late Art Carney, soothing me deep to the land of dreams. At the bottom of my sea was a teddy bear I particularly loved and slept with every night until once, sick with a bug, I vomited all over it. I remember crying and crying when I could not find him again, and those dream times in the depth of the ocean helped make the loss more palatable. I seemed to know that love, although no longer tangible, could always be found in the heart.

Paying for College-Work can Work

How to pay for college, is on the mind of many families. My own experience, way back was the knowledge that any education I received would be paid for by work. Good fortunate, and being observed by experienced teachers allowed me to find jobs in my field from the second semester at community college. Small scholarships, were supplemented by full time jobs. At Teachers College - Columbia University​, I found a position through the employment center at Alfred Einstein Hospital which unbeknownst to me was affiliated with the Health and Hospital Workers Union, that contributed to my education. I graduated owing $13,000. Today, I am working with students who are doing the same, of course their college experience (fun) is measured differently. But life always has gives and takes, my Community college students often have 4 jobs.Here is a hint.. if this is your situation-make sure to find positions in your field or related to it. This means like me working in schools/hospitals, editing for a professor, restaurant work (hospitality major's), etc..This requires effort, and results in a strong resume and employment upon graduation. The adage Theory without Practice-world firm.

My mentor Professor Leslie R. Williams

Goodbye, Professor Leslie R. Williams Every so often, I receive an alumni newsletter from Columbia University Teachers College where I completed my doctorate. This month brought sad news: my department chair, dissertation advisor, mentor and friend — Dr. Leslie R. Williams — had died at the age of 63 from colon cancer.  Leslie was a remarkable woman; one who changed the course of my own life and many others as well. She saw potential, had the highest expectations and demanded rigor. Her will to provide the highest standards for every child was unshakable.  Leslie was devoted to advancing the importance of early childhood education in general and specifically multicultural education. The author of 15 books, many articles, even an encyclopedia, this woman was a tireless advocate for children.  Her influence extended well beyond these United States, especially with educators dedicated to establishing early childhood programs, including those for indigenous peoples. Coming from a large family of limited means, she financed her own education through scholarships and jobs. Dyslexic at a time when the term was primarily equated with a lack of intelligence provided an extra struggle. Defying these odds, she was accepted at St. Paul’s for advanced studies after high school followed by an undergraduate degree at Wellesley, master’s at Harvard and education doctorate at the Teachers College. An amazing education, indeed, and having achieved this pinnacle, she wholeheartedly believed others could as well. Leslie recognized every student deserved to be taught with the highest standards, and it was the job of the teacher to find out what strategies best-suited individual children.  My first choice for graduate school was the Bank Street College of Education with its outstanding programs and long history of excellence. Having earned honors in California with all the requisite experience and recommendations, I felt fairly confident I would be accepted.  Well, that was not the case, evidenced when the thin envelope arrived at my apartment. Needless to say, I was devastated.  Several weeks later, I received a call from graduate admissions at Bank Street. They were re-evaluating my application to see if a mistake was made in rejecting me. I inquired as to why I had been denied in the first place. ”From what we ascertain, you have been responsible for yourself since childhood. We do not know how you will be with a mentor or if you can work under someone successfully,” was the reply. I assured her I had had no difficulties working under people, especially when given respect. The committee again reviewed my application, but I was again rejected, much to the expressed sorrow of the woman who called me. Further demoralized, I was at a crossroads. In retrospect, the Bank Street rejection opened the door to another and more personally appropriate situation.  Depressed about my future after having worked so hard throughout my schooling as an adult learner, I was close to giving up. A friend suggested going up to Columbia. I was doubtful: how in the world would the most prestigious education school in the country even look at my application after the debacle at Bank Street? Nevertheless, I made an appointment where I first encountered Professor Leslie R. Williams, who then was fairly new to the department of curriculum and teaching. She was a formidable yet friendly presence, and her eyes spelled welcome.  She took me into her office, and we spoke for quite a while. I told her about my background, the tutoring program I started in San Francisco and my goals for children.  She shared her story of being dyslexic and working her way through Wellesley, Harvard and then Columbia University Teachers College.  At the end of the interview, she encouraged me to apply into the doctoral program rather then for a master’s degree. Leslie told me that from our interview she believed I could make a unique contribution to the lives of children.  That short visit changed the course of my life. I did complete the application and was one of the few students admitted to the doctoral program in curriculum and teaching that year.  This acceptance has led me to believe in the miraculous with my own students, knowing that, without exploration and even risk, you may never find that right school and the educators best suited to develop your particular talents. Leslie’s classes were difficult with voluminous materials to be mastered. She was distressed at educational trends that fostered so-called “dumbing down” or oversimplification of curriculum.  Rather then a degradation of intellectual standards, she taught us the converse: to prepare each and every student with the optimal education. Having Leslie R. Williams as a mentor left an indelible impression on my philosophy of education as well as my heart. It is her influence that makes me disheartened when potential teachers in my foundations classes reveal their most admired teacher was like a friend or used the word “crap” in class.  Such teachers make it more difficult for those with higher more professional standards on the part of instructors. Used to being spoon-fed diluted materials, students squirm and kvetch when higher standards are expected.  Several high school students recently complained to me about an English teacher who requested they call her Mrs. instead of by her first name. They were also frustrated that diagramming sentences was a requirement and essays had to follow the professional MLA format. Used to informality and the latitude of having been taught by “pal” teachers, this more rigorous instructor received a plethora of negative comments on the student-driven Web site — Rate My Teacher. Those instructors that dumb down the material often receive four stars, and the ultimate criteria for approval is the easy A for the course.  How sad this lax and demeaning attitude is! Instead of dumbing down the curriculum, why not try ratcheting it up? Yes, ratcheting up the curriculum is exactly what my highly rated professor would have agreed to. Well before No Child Left Behind, this was her philosophy. Sounds old-fashioned, I know, yet I believe Dr. Leslie R. Williams would concur that by raising educational standards, we raise potential and each student’s ability to achieve.

Dr. Mae Sakharov introduces associate James Warren

My practice as a college, grad school and career counselor began many years ago in New York City. Since then along with associates we have supported families across the globe in need of services.(www.maesakharov.com) I am happy to share information about one of my associates, James Warren, who works out of the Washington DC area.
James Warren brings together a love for helping people tell their stories with an extensive background in leadership and coaching to help individuals reach their fullest potential. He has successfully directed university recruiting efforts at the University of Virginia, the University of Richmond, and Virginia Commonwealth University, and for one of the nation’s largest CPG companies. Influenced by his experience in Columbia University’s Creative Writing Program, he has, for more than two decades, nurtured a personal passion for storytelling and leads the development of sharemorestories.comas its current CEO. (www.sharemorestories.com) Based on his significant experience in recruiting, training, leadership and organizational development, James helps high school students and young adults capture the attention of admissions officers and navigate their next steps to college and graduate school, and brings a unique perspective to help guide those he works with toward better career planning decisions. James completed his undergraduate work in Economics and Literature at Princeton University, graduate work in the Creative Writing Program at Columbia University, and Marketing at the University of Richmond. He is an advisor for the Enactus campus chapter at the University of Virginia’s McIntire School of Commerce and mentors middle school students through Richmond-based MEGA Mentors.